When I wrote this next poem, as the volume of traffic increases, as the number of people we encounter while out walking near our home increases, I felt that it was the last one. The last one named and numbered for lockdown. This series had come to a resting place, I felt. The lockdown was ending, possibly disintegrating.
And there are all the mixed emotions that go with everything to do with the covid crisis. Of course, it is such good news that fewer people are afflicted with this terrible disease. I am glad my little local shops are beginning to trade again, and people in my community are able to support their families. I worry that this is a lull, and not an end. I worry that we are missing an opportunity to make things better in our scramble to make things normal.
But also, I have really enjoyed this method of writing, and then sharing with you. Thank you for your company. I hope these poems have given moments of peace, or thoughtfulness, or connection, or beauty – as they are, and as you need. I will continue writing like this, and also seeing what else calls to be written. I think there are new things. So, there are 35 of these, in this series. I also wrote seven poems for Good Friday.
That’s quite productive for me, and some recharging of my creative batteries, some reading and thinking and seeing, is required. Having said that, I may miss doing this so much there’ll be something tomorrow!
This last poem seems to say some things that had been rising up in me for a while. I am finding, in my response to the multiple crises that are unfolding, that I am trying to understand what is going on, rather than value my own opinion so much. There is a letting go for me here, which is the first step of learning. It’s seeking to adopt a beginners mind, or seeking to become like a little child. There is a reference to the wonderful piece of Medieval mysticism, The Cloud of Unkowing, in the poem, and you can read a bit more about that here.
Thank you again for your time, for sharing your time and virtual comany with me, and for your attention, and bless you.
Grandiflora Lockdown 35
I am tired of argument,
although curious,
and seeking understanding.
I am done with the
certainty of knowing.
There is so much more
to be explored in unknowing,
so much awaits
in that soft mist
that rests on the skin.
These magnolia leaves,
rattling in the breeze,
some yellow, and falling,
some green, and shining,
do they know the flowers
will begin to open soon?
The flowers will open,
known or not,
releasing their
creamysweet
scent above me –
joining with
the honeysuckle,
with the rose –
revealing their strange
strong hearts.
Each day,
a new flower
will open.
Each day,
I will receive
their beauty,
and, in turn,
pour out tea leaves
for their dark roots.
I am finding
it is enough.
It is enough.
Andrea Skevington 